Premiership Preview Part 2

Originally posted on www.fansfootballnetwork.com

My fantasy football prowess is legendary. Be warned. Most glimpse statistics with disinterest at best, many view them with distain. I relish my ‘Stat-Sat’. It’s true. Statistical-Saturday, two hours before kick-off, awake, alert, online, analysing pass completion percentages from the midweek games, headers won, successful tackles.

A few friends and I put €20 each in a pot before last season began. We played online but had one extra rule that became known as the ‘realistic rule’. In essence it meant you couldn’t use the transfer function unless the actual Premiership’s managers had an open transfer window. You had a squad, you stuck to that squad through thick and thin, though injuries and suspensions and through Ciaran’s gloating after he was the only one of us with Peter Crouch playing when he scored that hat-trick against Arsenal. The prick. A twelve man league sprouted, it consumed conversation week after week in the pub.

On other tables dotted around the newly refurbished local, women would sit sipping cosmos chattering about fashion, boys and weight problems. When one would leave momentarily the rest would lean in together to comment on her attire. “I cannot believe she’s wearing two clashing floral prints.” – “I know. I mean didn’t she see Gok Wan on Tuesday? It’s this season’s biggest faux pas” – “Totally”.We sat around sipping Bulmers chattering about Micah Richards, Wigan and Stephen Hunt’s weight problems. When one of the lads would go out for a smoke we’d all lean in to comment on his team. “I can’t believe he’s playing Hyypia, he’s got Richard Dunne on the bench all season” – “I know, did he not see Hyypia during the week? The young lad from PSV ran him ragged, he’s lost his pace” – “Absolutely”.

Now, I know you’re probably thinking, “What has this got to do with a preview of next month’s Premiership?” “Well nothing much. It’s more to do with my journalistic integrity. I’m a very competitive man and I’m broke. That €20 down the drain, actually that €20 sliding into Gerry’s pocket was through no fault of my own, but I’ll be honest, it hurt.All those ‘Stat-Sat’ mornings, a waste, I’m still bitter. I felt like writing to Roman Abramovich and telling him he owed me a twenty because it was all his club’s fault. My clinically analysed and statistically constructed squad consisted of three disgustingly under performing Chelsea boys, who undermined all I’d worked for. Andriy Shevchenko. Nicolas Anelka. Wayne Bridge. I can’t simply say the names, I spit them. They cost me the title, the money, but most of all the honour of having my sporting opinion respected throughout the football-baron summer.

So my preview of Chelsea’s upcoming title attempt should be taken with a pinch of salt, like I said, I’m bitter.Big Phil, good luck. There isn’t a manager on the planet that can satisfy Roman Abramovichs desire for trophies. The ‘Special One’ couldn’t; now you’re next in the firing line. Even if you do win the Premiership, the FA Cup and The Champions League you’ll need to do it playing ‘the right way’ to keep the boss happy. As far as I know ‘the right way’ consists of something to do with intricate passing, long range strikes, silky skills and the whole squad doing the conga on the crossbar at half time wearing coconut bras.

Joking aside, the big Brazilian has added two nice names to the forthcoming conga line. Anderson Deco, the jinking little Portuguese-Brazilian carbon copy of Gianfranco Zola. Great to watch. Jose Bosingwa the Portuguese-Congolese defender signed from FC Porto. Good choice, a right back was badly needed.Bosingwa is a solid defender who’s had experience against English opposition while playing Champions League football. He’s wont be messed with or afraid to throw his weight around. Deco is simply a beautiful footballer. When on form he reminds me of an orchestral conductor, everything relates to his movement, no matter who’s in possession, the ball is his. Fingers crossed Big Phil gives him a free role to play behind Drogba. I can see it already, Bosingwa swinging a cross over for Drogs to nodd down, Deco, half volley, “You beauty!”If Deco plays week in week out, which is highly likely, Michael Ballack will be moving on. The German hasn’t lived up to the hype since he moved to Stamford Bridge. Last year I thought he looked lethargic. Scolari is accustomed to Deco from his days as manager of the Portuguese national team; he’s clearly a fan. Although Ballack has stronger physical presence he lacks the depth of vision Deco possesses to pick out ‘that pass’ and the desire to win the ball that Michael Essien built his reputation on. Ballack will be second choice in the centre either that or he’ll be pushed out to the right, maybe even pushed out of the club.

For the record, players out: Makelele, Sidwell, Crespo, Boulahrouz. That foursome could make up the spine of any Premiership squad. It disgusts me.

Everton Manager David Moyes hasn’t signed one player this summer. Actually, he hasn’t even signed his own contract. British Bookmakers, Coral have suspended betting on him being the first manager to leave this year. I cannot see that happening. He’s one of the few managers who appear to love their club. I suspect he’ll sign a reviewed contract soon, and then look to building the squad for the forthcoming season.Andy Johnson is on the verge of being sold to Fulham. Although the English international is a quality player he doesn’t fit the mould at Goodison Park. In fairness, any striker who likes the ball to feet is going to struggle in front of any midfield containing Philip N. Neville.I would love to see Moyes leave Neville out of the squad, not just the team. Play five across the back with Baines attacking down the left wing and maybe Hibbert or on the right. Then place Lescott and Jagielka in the centre with Yobo roaming in front of them, please. Put Cahill, Arteta and Osman in midfield and stick Yakubu up-front with whomever Moyes brings in to replace Johnson. That’s a pretty little team there, no weak links.

The flame haired manager spoke to the press about his need to sign a new striker after the defeat to Chicago Fire during the week. Unfortunately no names were mentioned. James Vaughan’s behaviour during the game should be of interest to Toffees fans. The young strikers’ volatile temper erupted in the ‘friendly’ resulting in a red card. This left Moyes understandably annoyed. Vaughan is good, he has the potential to be the next Andy Cole or Darius Vassell, but he needs time to mature. Hopefully with more first team action he will develop over the course of the season. Toffees fans will be watching intently.

Fulham are my favourite mid-table club. I like their manager, I like their players, and I like their style. The fact their stadium is still named Craven Cottage not ‘The Umbro Bowl’, or ‘The Volkswagan Stadium at Craven Cottage’ makes them even more lovable. They seem to play without fear of losing, whether this is attribute is debatable but it’s certainly entertaining. There will always be a place in my heart for Fulham Football Club.

Hodgson’s squad is developing. They have been going through a period of transition in the last number of seasons but the strands seem to be weaving themselves together. The new names expected to make the team sheet later this month include Bobby Zamora and Zoltan Gera. Zamora is an established EPL striker, although not particularly prolific he makes an impact on the majority of defences. He’s a young bustling footballer with a solid work rate, Hodgson can expect him to net 15 this season. Anything more would be a bonus.Hungarian International, Gera may be a familiar name to eagle-eyed Premiership fans. He was the lynchpin in the West Brom midfield that kept the Baggies heads above water in 03/04. Niggling injuries kept him sidelined the following season. He watched from the boxes as his club were relegated. Although a contract was offered to keep him at The Hawthorns he opted for premiership football and signed for Fulham in July.

Fredrik Stoor is the final notable signing of Fulham’s pre-season. Another Scandinavian defender brought in by Hodgson to sure up what has been a shaky defence. Stoor was a member of the Swedish squad for Euro 2008 signs from Norwegian club, FC Rosenburg.

Hodgson seems enamoured with the cold countries of North-eastern Europe. Since taking over the reigns at Craven Cottage he has signed six Scandinavians. It should be noted that the deal to bring Bobby Zamora to Fulham also included Ghanaian under-21 international John Paintsil. Whether he will be a first-team player or simply a squad member who was a pawn in the Zamora deal is yet to be established.

Fulham will have another exciting season. Who knows where they’ll finish but it will be certainly be worth watching. Everton will have one aim, finish above Liverpool. There is one man who is judge and jury at Stamford Bridge and he will decide whether their season is a success or failure. One thing is for sure, none of his players will be in my fantasy squad.

Unless he sends me that twenty.

Leinster Powerlifting Open

Above: Bernie Delaney - World Champion 90KG


The Irish Powerlifting Organisation held their Leinster Open championships in The Hercules Club near King Street on Saturday. With several former world champions, world record holders, and one reigning world champion competing high standards were expected.

In competitive Powerlifting the entrants are split into weight classes, each competitor has three attempts at three types of lift, their heaviest completed squat, bench and deadlift are added together to form a total upon which the results are based.

Billy Kidd from Cabra opened the event by squatting 160 kilos, twice his bodyweight. Not bad for a man in his sixties I’m sure you’ll agree. Following Billy’s opening various lifters squatted triple their bodyweight, smashing numerous Irish records in the process.

Ger Smith from Blanchardstown set a new junior national record in the 75kg category with his opening squat of 200kg. He then beat that record with his second attempt, and again with his third and final lift of 225kg, adding 30kg in total to the national record. The Smith family is synonymous with powerlifting in Ireland. Gers father Dave soon stepped onto the platform to add to the family reputation once more. Dave is a former world champion now competing in the masters’ category. He completed the biggest squat of the day, 320kg, on his final attempt. Roughly the same as lifting a horse.

Qualifying for the world championships in Vienna this November was the goal of many of the lifters. Bernie Delaney from Dublin 15 did not have any such worries, as reigning world champ he qualifies automatically. Fitness Equipment Consultant by day, world powerlifting champ by night. The Blanchardstown native trains four days a week in the famed ‘Hercs’ club and is quietly confident of retaining his title come November. ‘Its nice to know I’m the one they’re all chasing, the one they have to beat’, Bernie has good reason to feel this way. He beat his own world record with an astounding total of 870kg in a sea of flashbulbs on Saturday. Unfortunately the absence of an international judge meant the total will remain unofficial but with three months training to go before Vienna it seems the sky is the limit for the reigning champ.

James Hanley is another man with his sights set on Vienna. The 22 year old, a serious lifter since his school days has taken his training to the next level recently. Personal bests in all three lifts mean he will be one to watch come November.

A veil of chalk dust covered the floor when Bernie Delaney finally stepped onto the podium to accept the trophy for Best Lifter. The standard displayed overall surpassed all expectation. Watch out for the Irish team in November.

The Premiership Preview Part 1

Originally posted on www.fansfootballnetwork.com


One truly craves the start of the new Premiership season on days like today. You know the feeling, slumped on the couch, snapping through the sports news channels. You’re just waiting for one of the generic blonde female presenters to appear after another series of adverts for mid-market car manufacturers. Fingers crossed its ‘now’. She has been talking about golf all day. It must be now. It has to be the time for her to turn to her right and say to her male counterpart “So Clive/Brian/Dale, first day of the new season, who are you backing?”

At which point a silken blanket of relief will drape across you. You will realise the two month Groundhog Day has ended. Suddenly you’re in your favourite seat in your favourite bar with your most passionate football supporting friend, and it’s his round.

She returns to the screen to begin the teasing sentence ‘…action continues at Old Trafford…’ you know the one, just enough football related information to jolt you from your semi-slumber, how did you miss this you’re thinking, then she continues, ‘England have lost three wickets in the last…’ and before she has finished her sentence you’re watching Israel play Norway in the UEFA under-19 championships on Eurosport.

So the wait for the new season continues. The day will come though, if we focus and believe, together. But while we wait for the blonde to utter that hallowed sentence, let us speak. The summer has been riddled with transfer speculation. This writer thinks some squads have been severely weakened, few have strengthened sufficiently and the Premiership as a whole has made some strange choices.

We’ll start alphabetically, put speculation aside and speak only of confirmed deals.

Arsenal –

I am a big Wenger fan but Hleb, Silva, Lehmann, Gilberto and Flamini out. Samir Nasri and Aaron Ramsey in. Surely the manager will add to his squad mid-season to appease the demanding Arsenal faithful. I’ll begin with Ramsey.

Admittedly I was impressed with what I saw of him last season but the 18 year old Welshman has a lot of work to do to make up for the loss of Hleb, let alone the other midfielders Wenger has rid himself of. He is creative, has great feet and most importantly, so far he has not let more physical players knock him off the ball, but the jump from the football league is a big one. I question if Ramsey has the frame to withstand the bustling power of some of the premierships bigger defenders. The one really worrying thing that creeps into my mind when I watch him is ‘James Milner’.

I’m not an avid viewer of the French league, so my knowledge of Nasri is taken solely from online sources. Titles like ‘Nasri - the new Zidane’ certainly had my mouth watering. Further research only adds to the accuracy of the title. Born in Marseille of Algerian heritage, tough childhood, signed for Olympique Marseille aged 10. Voted the Young player of the year in France in his first season. Capped for France at all levels from under-14 to senior international. His career so far is more impressive than that of the messiah with the monks’ hair was at age 21.

Whether he will perform as well in the concrete mixer that is the premierships midfield battle is up for debate. He is more technically proficient than Ramsey, but not as accustomed to he physical requirements of the English game. He is equally comfortable on the right side as he is in the centre. Overall, although Ramsey has been pursued by various premier league outfits from the age of 14, I think Nasri will have a bigger impact for the Gunners in his debut season. Maybe not a new Zidane this year but if Wenger can mould him the way he did with Reyes, who knows.

I predict that unless the Gunners sign an experienced midfielder, and a solid defender before Christmas they may struggle to keep pace with Chelsea, United and possibly Liverpool [if they perform]So far, a side that has weakened over the summer.

Aston Villa -

Over the last ten years Aston Villa has been the antithesis of a mid-table Premier league club. Nothing more, nothing less. Their fans were never particularly passionate or numerous. Their stadium is neither huge nor intimidating. Their style of play was always plain and defensive. They were rarely giant killers. Most importantly though, their squad has been little more than a bunch of journeyman professionals. However, two years ago a pair of trump cards walked into Villa Park, O’Neill and Robertson.

The passionate Northern Irishman, undoubtedly one of the leagues best managers and his often overlooked assistant, Scotland’s John Robertson, is surely one of the best partnerships in the league since Cloughie and Taylor at Forrest in the late seventies. They are a combination that has the coaching skill to turn a journeyman into a true footballer.

I should be noted - the Cloughie-Taylor pairing had an amazing eye for talent that O’Neill and Robertson are yet to match. Cloughie found players in the lower divisions that he signed and bred into solid professionals, O’Neill has bought established pros either nearing the end of their careers or on the cusp of making a name for themselves. Last year’s successful signings, Reo-Coker from West Ham and Petrov strengthened a midfield that has lacked that spark and creativity since Patrik Berger was in his heyday. Expect this year’s one big name signature, Steve Sidwell to flourish in the disciplined regime developed by O’Neill and Robertson at Villa Park. The bustling midfielders’ career has become stagnant while he has been sitting on the bench at Chelsea. This writer feels if you threw Paul Scholes and Roy Keane into a concrete mixer, diluted it by about 50% and hit the power switch you would have something resembling Steve Sidwell. A very solid footballer. Toss a dash of Martin O’Neill’s coaching talent into the mix and you can be assured the new signing will not disappoint.

Looking at the Villa first team there is one glaring absence, a quality goalkeeper. Steve Taylor has never really fulfilled the potential he showed as a youngster, and for a quality football team he is a back-up keeper at best. Villa should invest in young Ben Foster for the forthcoming season or looking to the future, possibly Shane Supple at Ipswich. Speculation has linked the Villains with several keepers including Brad Friedel and Paul Robinson, but O’Neill seemingly feels Taylor is developing into a strong keeper.

Last week the club signed American international stopper, Brad Guzan from MLS side, Chivas USA, who will compete with Taylor. Although I have my doubts over the English shots-stopper’s ability Villa have no other clear weaknesses. Their upcoming season should be their best in years.

Blackburn Rovers -

The summer has seen a changing of the guard at Blackburn Rovers with the much reviled Paul Ince replacing Mark Hughes who took the reigns at Manchester City. Former Manchester United, Liverpool, Inter Milan and England star Ince has cut his managerial teeth in the lower divisions with Macclesfield and MK Dons but there are doubts as to whether he has to ability to step up to the plate this soon.

With star players Roque Santa Cruz and David Bentley the subjects of much transfer speculation, the signs aren’t great for Rovers. At least they have the majestic Brad Friedel (should he stay), and the acquisition of Paul Robinson this week sees them sorted for goalkeepers.

Bolton Wanderers -

It looks like Bolton are in the middle of a rejuvenation. They have finally rid themselves of El-hadj Diouf who hasn’t performed since Korea and Japan in 2002, he was off-loaded to Sunderland earlier in the week. Gerard Houllier should be lynched for subjecting Premiership fans to the Senegalese strikers’ game since he signed him for Liverpool following that World Cup. Fabrice Muamba has put pen to paper in a £5million deal. Although Muamba is a solid pro the fee seems a little steep. Time will tell. Gary Megson’s redevelopment continues.

The addition of Johann Elamander from Toulouse to replace Diouf will sure up an inconsistent strikeforce. The Swede is of similar calibre in terms of ability to the Senegalese international. His workrate and general attitude puts Roy Keane’s new signing to shame. Ivan Campo was released, and although a respected player in his heyday, the nest-headed Spanish international has been counting his beans the last few seasons. Another good decision by Megson. Bolton fans can look forward to a solid performance this season, but the real results of Megson’s choices may not been seen for a few years yet.


Next - Chelsea, Everton, Fulham

Foreign Legion Headline @ Whelans (March 26th)

There are three things in life that everyone should know. One: You will die, live it up. Two: If you have enough unprotected sex something bad will happen eventually, wrap it up. Three: If you ever see iCon the Mic King and Foreign Legion on the same bill it will result in a savage show, so show the fuck up.

Any regulars at Dublin hiphop gigs will know how difficult it can be for the first act to get the crowd hyped. We’re a chilled out lot without a few drinks, nobody wants to put their hands in the air because there is a pint in that hand, and God forbid, it might spill. Most acts tend to find getting a crowd to bounce in Dublin before 10PM about as easy as getting a rave going in a convent wearing nothing but one of those “I’m a virgin – this an old shirt” tops. iCon the mic king is better than most acts.

In my book, anyone with the name Michael (Mike) King was born to rap. iCon is that man. The Philadelphia native got the crowd moving way earlier than usual. The highlight of his twenty minute set was his trademark “Blind Object” freestyle. After pulling a blindfold over his eyes he took items the crowd had passed up to Marc Stretch of Foreign Legion identified them with his fingers and rapped about them continuously for the length of a track, everything from shoes to iPods and fire extinguishers to tampons. Impressive doesn’t begin to explain it.

As he departed the stage he told the crowd he wasn’t here to sell merchandise just “to make some friends… but buy me a drink if you want”. Unsurprisingly there were people looking for his disc longer after he’d sold out of them and I didn’t see him without at least two drinks in his hand for the rest of the night either.

Rob Kelly was next up, backed by DJ Mo-K. In all honesty I’m not a big fan of Robs style but when he gets it right the Wexford man can really rock a crowd.

It was interesting to see Kell try some new things with his live act, although he did spilt the crowd down the middle and do the “party over here” thing again, which by now is a little stale. I’m being picky though because all in all, Rob rocked it. He started with a piece over the instrumental for “Don’t stop believing” by Journey, which looks like it could develop into a crowd pleasing opener. The set continued with a mix of older recognisable material and some unheard new tracks which sound very promising. “Dropkicked” is still as good a track as anyone’s got to finish a set off. Kelly maintained the vibe iCon started and paved the way for Foreign Legion.

Foreign Legion are fresh. There is no debating that. They’re fresh and if you don’t like it, listen to Nickleback.

The chemistry Marc Stretch and Prozack Turner have on stage is not something that can be created artificially, DJ Flip always adds to the fun as well.

If you took random men between 20 and 40 and tried to make them look as different to each other as possible you couldn’t make them more polar opposite than Stretch and Prozack already do, yet, on-stage they behave like brothers.

Stretch is a huge black guy, about 6’5”. Prozack is a small white guy, about 5’6”. Stretch wore baggy jeans and a dark t-shirt. Prozack wore skinny jeans, a bright green “Duck Tales” t-shirt and a belt with a huge gleaming buckle.

When Prozack stepped behind Stretch, he disappeared. As small as Prozack may be, he dominates the stage, his energy is almost tangible and every song gets 100%.

Stretch is more laidback, the perfect partner to ‘Zacks manic presence. ‘Zack performs his verses with the intensity of lunatic with road rage who has been sitting in traffic all day. Stretch is more controlled, he makes life look easy, when he raps, something makes you watch, although you get the impression he wouldn’t care if you watched him or the wall, he’s seems that horizontal.

By the time Foreign Legion got to their last track nobody cared if their hands were holding pints or who the pints were spilling on. All three performers interacted with the crowd to create an intimate atmosphere that I haven’t experienced at a hiphop gig in Ireland previously.

ProZack was noticeably emotional when he asked the crowd to give it everything for the one remaining track in memory of T-Murder, a friend and musician who died recently. When the track finished all the nights acts headed down to Eammon Dorans for the after-party and to top a quality night off, they freestyled on stage for a solid hour.

Amazingly iCon repeated his blindfolded antics even though he could just about speak fluidly off-stage, the Guinness had taken its toll but not on his freestyling. I think he’ll remember his first appearance in Ireland. He’ll certainly remember the hangover.



www.myspace.com/iconthemicking

www.myspace.com/robkelly

www.myspace.com/foreignlegion

Waited with weights, more updates soon

Does lifting weights make a better athlete?

I've been out of sport for 8 months after tearing my anterior cruciate ligament in my knee. During that time I've been in the gym on average 4 times a week. Having played sport to a professional standard pre-injury this article intrigues me. Getting the knee sorted on tuesday, scary operation, deary me.

I'm going to try and post more

Paisley Junior - on up the yard

So Ian Paisley Junior has at last resigned. Only about 3 years to late Ian-o.

This is the man who, whilst a member of the NI policing board in 2005, said he thought homosexuality was "repulsive" and because David Trimble had a gay aide his politcal judgement was "questionable".

When he came out with that statement originally, all I could think of was..."gerrup'the'yard, youre getting the sack mate". Well he didnt back then but hes up the yard now, though it worries me he wasn't cleared out quicker. I wonder if he was a politician in the south would he have come away as unscathed if he'd made such comments.

If Enda Kenny had called homosexuality "disgusting" [well, he'd be more likely to call it "a hainish crime against the natural processes of the human body", but thats irrelevant] would he have recieved a backlash strong enough to remove him from his post?

Maybe Enda Kenny is a bad example, sure half his supporters want him off his perch. Say, Willie O'Dea, he man who recieved the highest percentage votes in any consticuency in the republic at the last general election. A man with similar backing from his party to Paisley Jnr. and both Willie and Ian-o being men of similar standing within their respective political landscapes... a better comparison.

If Willie O'Dea had said he thought gay relationships "harm society", and are "immoral, offensive, obnoxious and wrong" [quote: Paisley Junior] - would the people of the south have caused enough of a fuss to force O'Dea out of office? I think so, and I sure hope so.

Thats the kind of thing that worries me about the future of Northern Ireland, not sectarianism, just the general bigoted attitude of "if your not like me, then I don't like you".

Now, I am basing my opinion on personal experience mainly, but there is research to back it up I believe. If my memory serves me correctly NI was named the "Hate capital of the world" at some point last year by an academic study [god bless google - Article].

Thats the worrying thing about the north, if this island does ever unite as a country, with the current number of foreign workers and naturalised immigrants in the republic, could it ever unite as a society?

Stop... Blogger-time

Ok, I knew I was late to this blogging fad when I stumbled across this baby during my quest to find retro cheesy rap tunes on t'interweb.



When a man who is best known for wearing parachute pants and inventing a dance that could make Melissa Theuriau look unattractive, is posting messages to veiwers saying that "no matter your choice, choose to vote" followed by an embededd video link to the "yeswecansong" [awful, for the record]... its time to take a look at yourself, and see what ways you could change peoples days, change t'interweb, and who knows, maybe even change the world.



... maybe one day I could be as great as MC Hammer. Yes, maybe, yes I can. [dont sing it]





Oh and to make my blog-virginity-taking post an all together nicer one, heres a picture of the fabulous... Melissa Theuriau